Friends at Home, Sisters at Sea
April 21, 2019 — Charlotte Ross
Brought together on land and united at sea, Lilja the “groovy plant lover,” Emma the “surfer cowgirl,” and Kainani the “little moon child” have created a beautiful friendship both in and out of the ocean.
Emma and Lilja were paired as random roommates their freshman year of college and soon after, Kainani joined the bond. After watching Emma drop in on the skate ramp at their school’s team’s surf house, Kainani immediately thought, “that’s my new best friend” and soon enough the “epic friendship” began.
Despite their different interests and surfing abilities, the three girls grew to become sisters of the sea and sisters at home, being housemates. Kainani, Emma, and Lilja share a similar love for the ocean and a great passion for a smooth wave.
From left to right: Kainani Gruspe, Lilja Jelks, & Emma Waldinger. Photo by Charlotte Ross.
Kainani Gruspe, the “little moon child,” grew up in Oahu, where she was lucky to be close to the ocean and surf practically every day on her longboard (she rides a 9’0” Arakawa). When she moved to California, she had to adjust to the different wave breaks and colder water temperatures. Something she never had to do back in Hawai’i but had to get used to was putting on a wetsuit each time she wanted to paddle out to the lineup. Most of the breaks in San Luis Obispo, where all three girls go to school, she said, are beach breaks rather than reef breaks, like at home for her in Honolulu. Kainani considers herself to be a part of the “longboard gang forever.”
Kainani was only two years old when her dad put her on the front of his surfboard; the two would ride tandem near their house in Hawai’i, catching all the small waves together. It wasn’t until middle school that surfing became such a big part of her life, however. “I made it a goal to start competing, so I would wake up at 4:30 a.m. every morning to surf before I had to go to school. I would daydream about it in class and then book it down to the beach as soon as school was over.” Surfing, Kainani says, is a huge part of who she is now and it has created some of her greatest lifelong friendships. “It is very special to me because it is something that my whole family does together. I definitely feel like I have a strong connection with the ocean and it is somewhere that I can clear my headspace and just be in the moment.”
Photo of Kainani by Samuel Nishimiya
Photo of Kainani by Christopher Dolbin
Emma Waldinger, the “surfer cowgirl,” is typically on a 5’4” twin-fin fish or a 5’6” Hypto Krypto. Emma grew up surfing in Redondo Beach, where the waves, she says, are fast and short and close to shore. Moving to the Central Coast was a big change in terms of wavelength and paddling distance for her, but the friendships she made from surfing smoothed the transition.
Emma began surfing toward the end of her middle school years and the beginning of high school--she used it as a way of growing more comfortable around the big waves and the mysteries of the ocean in general. “I quickly fell in love with [surfing] which has allowed me to conquer a lot of fears revolving around the ocean,” she says. Surfing has lead her on various trips and has propelled her into connecting with girls that are now some of her closest friends. When things don’t go as planned, the ocean becomes a place of tranquility and opens her up to a more peaceful mind. The salt water creates an equilibrium in mentality and emotions for Emma, helping her to refocus her mindset. The ocean, the waves, the salt, the art of surfing, and the adaptations among it all have guided Emma into the person she is today.
Photo of Emma by Emma’s mom, Amy Waldinger
Photo of Emma by Marissa Miller
Photo of Emma and friends by Mali Khan
Lilja Jelks, the “groovy plant lover,” was raised away from the water and in the land of agriculture and vineyards--Davis, California. She didn’t grow up around the beach but instead found her young self rock climbing or biking around the flatter landscape. When she came to Cal Poly University just last year, it was random roommate Emma who introduced her to the wonders of surfing. Now she can be found riding some of the smaller waves nearby on her ever- so-wonderful Costco Wavestorm. “I love that thing!” she says.
And despite being a beginner surfer, and not being on the SLO (San Luis Obispo) surf team like the other two girls, Lilja has found Kainani and Emma to be some of her closest friends--brought together by the salty sea.
Photo of Emma (on left) and Lilja (on right) by Kainani Gruspe
The girls at Taco de Mexico with their other best friend, Mali Khan. From left to right: Mali Khan, Kainani Gruspe, Emma Waldinger, & Lilja Jelks. Photo provided by Lilja Jelks.
When the girls surf together, there is always a lot of hype and encouragement toward one another. Emma rides goofy and Kainani rides regular so the two are usually on different peaks, allowing them to watch each other and be stoked once they are out of the water. Kainani says “It’s kind of nice [that way] because it’s just us and the ocean when we’re out there but we still share the same experience.” With Lilja it’s always about improvement--Emma says she loves to surf with her because of the way she always tries to increase her ocean knowledge and better her form and confidence, making it especially enticing to follow her progression on the board.
Many female surfers on the Central Coast say that there is a sense of community here; although they are outnumbered by men in the water, their minority creates a tighter connection and willingness to build friendships in and out of the waves. “It’s so nice having gal pals to surf with because we are outnumbered in the lineup. It’s fun knowing that we can hang with the guys out there and when there’s a crew of girls [they] even get a little intimidated. And it’s nice having friends who are just as down to demolish a good ol’ [Tacos de Mexico] burrito as soon as we get out of the water” (a popular mexican restaurant in Morro Bay--and likely the best tasting in the SLO County).
For Emma, being a female in the water doesn’t alter much, she says. Sometimes the male surfers seem to judge more as the female surfers first paddle out to the lineup, but as soon as they see what the girls are capable of and that they can catch waves and shred on them, the male surfers are more open to sharing the water. And for Kainani, it’s similar. She enjoys being a girl out at sea on her longboard because the men usually let her go on any wave. She says she’s seen a lot of guys become aggressive toward each other but has never had to deal with it herself. The surfing community is very family oriented in Hawai’i--“I grew up surfing in Waikiki,” she says, “with fifty people in the lineup--I got to know a lot of the older uncles and aunties so they would always call me into waves. They are all so kind and friendly which made surfing such a magical experience to me.” And for Lilja, it’s all about learning to ride the wave and absorb all the tips that she can from her female surfer friends. Some of her greatest experiences are the sunset surf sessions she’s shared with Emma in Cayucos, learning new ways to ride her Wavestorm.
The three girls have grown a connection over the past two years from living together in San Luis Obispo and riding waves together, despite their difference in abilities and interests in and out of the water. They all have a respect for one another and can always resolve conflicts with honesty, building an even stronger relationship together. “At the end of the day,” Kainani says, “We’re all just trying to have a good time together and surfing always puts us in a better mood. It’s something that we can do together and we all enjoy it, especially when the waves are good and the sun is out to play.”
